Everything He Had

“Hey, Adam, that’s great, just toss it in the corner with those other boxes. Nothing fragile over there. I don’t think there’s really anything to break, ha!”

“You got it chief. Is this really all you have? I never realized you were this low-maintenance. Super convenient, actually, cause you’re not gonna be too happy with the size of the room. I mean, technically it is a bedroom, but I was just using it as an office. Apparently it’s Victorian style. I don’t know who this Victoria lady was, but she must have been a real bitch. Cramming people into that closet while the other bedroom is more than three times the size… Don’t worry though, the price is right, man.”

“Hell, I really couldn’t care less about the size of the room. I’m just glad I got somewhere to go, ya know. By the way, it’s really great that you offered to help me out here. I mean, when’s the last time we saw each other? The five-year reunion at the frat?”

“Something like that. And don’t sweat it man; always glad to help out an old friend. Plus, some company around this place would be nice. Hey, you don’t know how to cook, do you?”

“Ha, I’ll work on it… got a bunch of other stuff on my mind though, ya know. Woah woah woah, is that your bedroom?? Shit! Where’d you get all this stuff? I don’t know much about decorating, but that shit is amazing!”

“Yeah, I remember your room back at the frat house. It was always the cleanest one; always so minimalistic though. Anyway, let’s see.. that shelf there is just a bunch of old postcards from soldiers in WWII who write back home to their wives… and those two lamps I got in this tiny, middle-of-nowhere town in Spain a few years back. The other stuff.. I dunno. Just kinda all came together.”

Jeff and Adam were both 29 years old and met in college several years back. Jeff was from New York, and Adam had been born and raised in Ireland, but came to the States for college. Adam was a bachelor who was perfectly happy plugging away at the company he’d founded a few years ago, after he got screwed out of a promotion at his old firm. It was some sort of web-design service for old companies that needed up adapt their marketing to the new demographic of smartphone users. Adam loved what he did and didn’t require anything else out of life. In his free time though, he did quite a bit of travelling. Since college, Jeff and Adam had always kept in touch, but they rarely saw each other these days. Since yesterday, Jeff had been renting a room in Adam’s apartment in Chicago.

“Damnit, Jeff!! Damnit! You always do this! You always back out of things. Important things! I just can’t believe how fucking insolent you are to do it to me this time!”

Sam was in the middle of having her heart broken, and was dealing with it by showing– what some people might call– Hell’s fury.

“Hey Jeff, once you get all yer shit stowed, lemme show you around town. Yer gonna love this neighborhood. You still like sushi? There’s this great place down the street, if you’re up for it. After that, I propose we get fucked up. It’s a special occasion, isn’t it? First round’s on me. You’ll love it; there are great bars all up and down the street a few blocks down.”

Jeff took his suitcase, satchel, and two boxes into the room that Adam had cleared out for him. Adam had even managed to find an extra bed and a dresser for him.

“YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

Sam’s words riddled Jeff with bullet holes. He knew she didn’t mean it, of course. He knew she meant just the opposite. He knew her better than she knew herself, and he loved her, too.

“What do you think of the comforter in there? My sister sent it to me as a birthday gift a few months ago, but I can only use one at a time, ya know? I’m actually glad I can put it on your bed now. It’ll keep ya real warm in the winters. It’s goose down.”

Jeff didn’t say anything, but wondered how many winters he’d be using that blanket. There really wasn’t much to say. Adam sensed some discomfort, knew it had nothing to do with him, and so he retired to the kitchen to make himself busy. Jeff stared and the soulless room, tried to imagine how he could make it more comfortable for himself, and realized that he had absolutely no sense of interior design. That was something Sam had always taken care of.

“Hey pal, I’ll be ready in half an hour,” Jeff eventually yelled through the bathroom door as he turned on the shower faucet. It didn’t take long for him to find his nice jeans and shirt. He was more than eager to try his best to hit the town.

“I should have never let you move in. I should have avoided you from the start.” Sam was understandably bitter. She knew Jeff loved her more than anything, but didn’t understand anything else. It had been love at first sight for them; that kind of thing actually does happen every now and then. 6 months was enough time to cement their decision and find an apartment together in Queens, just across the river from Manhattan. 6 months after that, Jeff cut things off. He had had very good job at the corporate level of a restaurant chain, but wasn’t convinced it was for him. He always kept an eye out for the one job he’d be completely sure of; he figured he’d know it when it came along. One day, he got the chance to interview for an interesting position at a firm in a completely different industry, and he thought to himself “this could be interesting.” Corporate found out Jeff that was testing the waters elsewhere, and that was that. He was out of a job by week’s-end.

The sushi with Adam was good, and by their third round at the second bar of the evening, Adam’s accent was starting to come out.

“Listen man, we go back a long time. Longer den you go back wit har ya know. If ya want to talk about it…”

“Thanks, Adam. Really, thank you.” Jeff felt the sudden need to finish the last half of his pint. “You’re doing me a huge help just offering me a place to stay. More than you know.”

“You’re stabbing me in the back you know. You’re not gonna make it, especially without me.”

“You know this doesn’t help at all,” Jeff said with tears welling in this sunken eyes. Jeff’s world was slipping right out of his fingers. His interview at the firm hadn’t worked out, and he was out of a job. He was always the anxious type, and whenever anything went wrong, he felt that everything was going wrong. Sometimes he even made it go wrong. Jeff loved Sam more than anything, but right or wrong, he felt that he couldn’t be the man he needed to be for her. Sam had tried to comfort him, offering to pay the rent for as long as he needed and stroking his hair at night, telling him not to worry, that she was his lucky charm and things would work out. They had to work out. Jeff knew Sam was his lucky charm, but couldn’t bring himself to drag her down into his decaying world any longer; at least that’s how it worked in his out-of-tune mind.

That night, after a few more drinks, Adam stumbled merrily home while Jeff pensively put one foot in front of the other, following his new roommate. Jeff had a good buzz going, too, but wasn’t enjoying any part of it.

“Remoynd me ta give ya a key in the marning, I got no fuckin oydea whar I gone en put da spare.”

Adam was going straight to bed, and Jeff thought back to the days in the frat when Adam used to pass out with his contacts in, wake up around 4 in the morning and take them out and throw them on the floor.

“Good night man, I’ll try to have some coffee ready by the time you wake up tomorrow afternoon.” Jeff winked at Adam while making fun of his inability to hold his liquor. Jeff spent a few minutes in the kitchen, mindlessly working his nightly routine from memory. He would set up the coffee maker, so when he got out of bed all he had to do was hit the button and hop in the shower. That way it’d be ready for Sam when she got up about 15 minutes later. Jeff came back to reality when he realized he couldn’t find the coffee filters, and all of a sudden he knew that Sam wasn’t going be at the table– smiling at him, coffee in hand– when he stepped out of the shower tomorrow morning.

Twenty minutes later, Jeff was in bed staring out the window, noticing the unfamiliar smell of the ornately-decorated comforter. He looked over at the suitcase, satchel, and the two boxes stacked in the corner and tried to visualize the exact color of his suitcase, but the light from the street lamps outside made everything look a dim yellow. Jeff eventually drifted off to sleep, realizing just how little he had.