2/7 (Gregoire)

Part I

“Oui Maman, je le sais. Ok, bye!”

Gregoire ended a phone conversation for the third time that day with his mother who kept calling to make sure he was settling in well. The fact is, Gregoire was settling in great, and his mom was just turning into something of a nuisance. She would call during class and get mad when he didn’t pick up. Long distance was hard on his family, but it was something he’d always wanted to do.

Gregoire was French-Canadian, and he was the first in his family to ever leave their hometown. For one reason or another, he decided there was probably more out there and so he packed his bags and went to college in California, of all places. It actually worked out well for him for two reasons: first, because being an international student, he received a substantial scholarship. Additionally, he was one of those types to whom things just came naturally, academically and socially-speaking. Perhaps the worst thing anyone could say about Gregoire at this point was that he was a little naïve.

As gifted as Gregoire was, he was still very limited in his experiences with other cultures and frankly, he had relatively elevated expectations. In other words, even though he was now in California of all places, Gregoire was having trouble finding a crowd that was as openly liberal as he’d been back home. He was used to smoking pot from time to time in public.

Eventually, Groigoire met Lucius, who went by the name of Lucky. Lucky was in a fraternity on campus and he worked at a coffee shop down the street. In truth, the two of them were in the same Spanish class, but neither of them realized it right away. Gregoire walked into the coffee shop for the first time one sunny day because he had finally worked up the courage to ask a girl out for coffee; they had also met in his Spanish class. There was something about Lucky that just seemed familiar to Gregoire, and Lucky was quick to invite him over to the frat to indulge in their mutual appreciation with a few other friends.

In the coming months, Gregoire would spend more and more time at Lucky’s fraternity partaking in not only pot, but eventually he began to explore all that California had to offer: acid, ecstasy, and later cocaine once or twice. When Gregoire started planning on joining the fraternity, he and Lucky eagerly agreed that they would be roommates for the second semester that year. Lucky cemented everything when he introduced Gregoire to Paul, the fraternity's president, who responded with a wink and a nod, thus telling Lucky that Gregoire would have no problem joining.

Gregoire continued his courses with more enthusiasm than he had had before; it was as if the fraternity– or perhaps the speculative promise of further mind/body altering substances– was the passion that fueled the rest of his endeavors. For the time being, he was able to keep his two worlds separate (frat life an his academics). He had no reason not to be confident.

Part II

Today was the big day. Gregoire had been on the edge of his seat for the past week or so as his frat-pledging process was nearing to an end. Tonight, he would be officially welcomed into the group that had begun to accept him as part of their community. Everyone was planning on having an enormous party, and Gregoire was grinning from ear-to-ear with anticipation. Anticipation, not just for tonight’s ritual, but also for the special congratulations gift he had prepared for himself: an appropriately-sized nugget of some of the best weed he could get, two hits to Vicodin , and the icing on the cake: five grams of coke. He started off the evening by taking the pills (nothing he hadn’t already tried out with Lucky).

Gregoire's twin sister, Gaëlle, had even flown in for the occasion after all the hype she'd gotten from her brother about his new friends, California, and the frat.

The initiation ritual was unforgettable, mainly because the euphoria-inducing pain killers began to kick in just as things were getting started (unfortunately, due to the secrecy of the ritual, the author of this record is restricted from divulging further detail).

The celebration at the fraternity house afterwards started at nine in the evening, around which time the cute girl from Gregoire’s Spanish class showed up, per his invitation. Over a few beers, he considered inviting her into Lucky’s room to go try some of the weed he had scored, but was soon slightly put off by how she couldn’t handle her liquor. He soon became annoyed with her and snuck up onto the roof to enjoy some private moments of pure, private pleasure. 

He didn’t really care about the trap door slamming shut behind him as he accidentally locked himself on the roof of his new frat house: the home where he would spend the rest of his college career. Gregoire brushed his hip pocket, making sure he had his phone: no need to worry, he could call Lucky when he felt like going back inside. Skipping the pot, Gregoire pulled out five small plastic bags of the most beautiful white powder for which he had been yearning for weeks. One-and-two-and-through-and-through, Gregoire had taken in half of his stash and felt the confidently seductive power that he now had: there was nothing he couldn’t do. He felt himself being glazed in the purest pleasure he had ever known as he was now three-fifths in and approaching his body’s tolerance.

One more down and he felt his lips curling up towards the sky. This was the best day of his life, and nothing could go wrong. After what felt like several minutes, he looked down and saw his hands trembling as he tried to open the last of his small Zip-Lock bags of coke. He tried and tried and tried but his fingers were shaking too much to grasp the right place on the bag. Gregoire was still smiling; it was just what he had wanted and he couldn’t stop if he tried.

He sat down on the edge of the roof and breathed heavily, his thoughts racing. He thought of how much he loved his family back home, of how much he loved California and Lucky, he even thought about giving his cute classmate another chance. All that would come later, just as soon as he finished up here.

Tight numbness in his chest. Pleasure turned to panic before he could even think about it. He didn’t want to believe that this was happening to him, and so he didn’t. Everything would be great as soon as he shook this negative thought. Gregoire pocketed his last gram of cocaine and retrieved his cell phone to call Lucky; it was time to go back inside. Once Gregoire was back inside, everything would be fine again. He was trying his best to ignore the creeping pain in his chest, and thought about how much fun his sister must have been having downstairs.

Once Lucky came up and opened the roof door from the inside, then Gregoire would be able to go in. He couldn’t stop smiling; lips curled up to the sky.

Once Lucky picked up the phone, then he would come and open the roof door.

Once Gregoire called a second time, Lucky would pick up.

Voicemail.

It was getting very dark. Gregoire couldn’t see the stars anymore, and the street lamps were fading for some reason. He felt happy and he reached up and touched his lips. He couldn’t stop smiling.

Today is Friday. Gregoire’s body will be found on Sunday.